It's been so long since I just took a bit to sit down and throw some thoughts down on these journal things... I used to have more time to collect thoughts on things that I liked, hated, etc. Feels like I'm just keeping my head above water at this point. Maybe it's a getting older thing, but the days, weeks, and months just blur together now. There's next to no time for reflection anymore. I kinda think that's harmful in a lot of ways.
Work is... Well, work lately. It is busy as hell, and it is always busy as hell- I like constantly having stuff to do, but the only thing about this is when my group busts our ass to get rush work done, under extremely challenging our even unrealistic deadlines, it becomes the new standard for turnaround. That shit isn't really cool, but at the same time, we're not in a position to stop it. It sort of mimics how things as a whole have become. Everything has to be instantaneous in society now, or it's too slow. Unfortunately this is a blanket practice, which really fucks with the creative process, at least professionally speaking. We have next to no time to work through real design filters and are expected to just turn a switch on and off, like we're running fucking numbers or some sort of other applied skill profession. It's pretty stifling. It makes me remember how difficult a manual labor job was physically, but how much easier it was to leave work AT WORK and not worry about it til 8am the next day, you know? Not to mention, my creativity, inspiration and motivation all tend to work on one parallel- so if I get completely drained from it at work, I have 0% left to work on personal stuff at night. It's really easy for people to say, "just suck it up and do it", but it's not that simple- I'm sorry. Our brains are constantly going, even when we sleep. If I'm stressing about a project or something like that, even after I pass out, I dream about it. It's impossible to escape. I honestly sympathize with artists that go off the deep end, snap and go crazy. If their outlet is obstructed in any way, it's easy to see that happen. So yeah, the decision to be a professional artist/illustrator/creative/designer is mine to handle, and I do question if I made the right call. There are plenty of redeeming days, but when I start to wander and think of doing this 20 years down the road and even until I call it quits and retire- I dunno. I will never stop creating, which is why if I ever decided to go to a different career where it's not so taxing on my creativity, I might be able to get back to doing the cool shit that I wanted to do. Who knows.
Outside of work, I've been doing things to at least improve my health and mood. I've drastically changed the type of stuff I eat... Really getting into better planning and things like that. I've been working out a ton. After the first week and a half of changing that all up, I dropped 10 lbs like that. I sort of leveled out, but I feel a lot better. I want to get at least 20 or so more pounds cut out, and then shape that shit up so I can feel like I used to back in the day. I don't think I'll be able to do standing flips and climb up walls and trees and shit like I used to, like a fucking rabid spider monkey, but as long as I get close to that, I'll be happy. I need to find some better routines for that... I just do a good half hour to 45 minutes of cardio, then hit the weight machines. But I need to find a better way to drop some more weight.
Aside from that, I haven't been gaming as much as I used to, but I did run through a few games... The most recent being Dragon's Dogma and Lollipop Chainsaw (still gotta finish the latter). Dragon's Dogma was a blast. I ran through it once and got 3/4 of the way through a second playthrough. Gotta pick that up again. Such fun. I'm DYING for AC3 to come out. Nothing better than that gameplay mixed with history so close to home. A lot of the game literally takes place in my backyard, which has got me so fucking psyched.
Been trying to get back into comics, but it's slow-moving. It's tough to figure out exactly what I want to get back into... Without blowing a bunch of money.
I'm trying to find some new tunes too... Recently I've been listening to new Oddisee, Homeboy Sandman, Apollo Brown, Tanya Morgan, etc... Just keep trying to find that new NEW shit that'll have me listening for weeks.
Pulled some tickets for Louie CK in the winter. I can't wait for that. The new season of Louie has been hilarious so far. And he's one of those dudes that's always doing new shit every time he tours, so that should be great.
Think I'm going to see Ted this weekend... Anyone seen that? A bunch of people told me it was funny.
Anyway, that felt good. I miss talking shit.
Listening to: One.Be.Lo - S.O.N.O.G.R.A.M.
Reading: Avengers vs. X-Men
Watching: Louie, 13 Assassins, Battle Royale II
Playing: Lollipop Chainsaw
Drinking: Almond milk